Chat Show!
by Nightris
Summary: L, Light and Matsuda have created their own chat show for no apparent reason. Many Unexpected and expected things happen in this new show! Could it be that they did this out of shear boredum?...yes made specifically for laughs & nothing else:D!
1. Chapter 1

L: "Hello everyone and welcome to our little chat room and it's literally a chat room." Eats a piece of cheese cake, "Yum…"

Light: Clasps hand together, "Uh yeah this is nothin' but one big talking…thingy…where me, Ryuzaki and Matsuda….

Matsuda: "Hey!!"

Light: "……ookay, well anyway this is like one big talking session where we sit and chat with random guests! And sometimes even answer fan mail!" sits back into chair.

L: "And some of the guests are very unexpected, like once we had inuyasha on here."

Light: chuckles a bit, " Yeah I remember that one," sighs, " sadly…..I do."

Matsuda: "The guy had friggin dog ears!! How cool was that!!"

L: "…..he almost cut off my hand when I touched them!! I was just being the curious genius that I am!"

Light and Matsuda: Laughs.

L: "What?"

Light: "That's a good one Ryuzaki. You….a genius? Ha!"

Matsuda: "Yeah I mean, you did kinda loose to LIGHT….I mean common….this is LIGHT we're talking about…."

Light: "….and what exactly is that suppose to mean Matsuda??"

Matsuda: "Well your kinda are a murderous psychopath that thinks killing criminals will help the world and-"

L: "Matsuda, Matsuda," puts hand over his mouth, " stop talking….your just going to get yourself killed."

Light: Mumbles, "Mental note…. Kill Matsuda…."

Matsuda: "What was that Light?"

Light: "Huh? Oh uh nothing! So uh anyways let's just answer our first fan mail of the day!" scrambles through big pile of fan letters and takes out one. Clears throat, "Dear Light, Do you….still…have…your..virginity?..."

L: "Oooh! This is a GOOD one Light!"

Matsuda: "Yeah Light so tell us…..are you still a virgin?"

L: Chuckles a bit, "Wow this is better than that 'Have you ever eaten at Mcdonalds' question!"

Light: Blushes terribly, "I uh….I'm not….a virgin."

L: "….."

Matsuda: "….."

Light: "….."

L and Matsuda: Bursts out laughing!!

Light: "What!?"

L: " Oh my god who did you do it with!?"

Matsuda: "Yeah! Who made you into the man you are today!?"

L and Matsuda: Burst out laughing again.

Light: "Do you guys really wanna know?"

Matsuda: "Yeah tell us c'mon!! Was it Misa? Takada?"

Light: "Well," turns to L, " y'know that time when you got drunk on sweets….and woke up with a sore ass?"

L: "……"

Matsuda: "….."

Light: "Yeah um……"

L: "….."

Matsuda: "Light you didn't!"

Light: " Hey I can talk over the world don't think I couldn't do something as simple as-"

L: "YOU MEAN THAT WASN'T FROM FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS!?"

Light: "no."

Matsuda: "…."

L: "Gahhhh!! You've scarred me!! You've….you've gone past my boundaries!! God I don't even allow Watari to touch me in those places!!"

Matsuda: "……god I'm just-"

Light: "Well um, "coughs , "lets move on shall we. Our first guest today is Misa!"

L: Is absolutely disturbed.

Misa: Giggles "Hi guys!!" Comes in all chippery and takes a seat next to Light

Matsuda: "Hey Misa!"

L: "Hello Misa." Bites down on a strawberry.

Light: Groans "Heeey Misaaa."

Misa: "this is so cool that you guys actually have me on your show! Hi everyone!" waves to the camera.

Light: "Misa stop it. Your embarrassing me!"

L: Puts thumb up to lip, "So Misa," approaches her very abruptly, "Is it true that you're a twenty dollar whore!?"

Matsuda: "Yes and gives us the juicy details!!"

Misa: "WHAT!? I'M NOT A WHORE!!"

L: "Not from what we hear from Light!"

Light: "Ryuzaki shut it!! Or I'll have to kill you all over again!!"

Matsuda: Laughs "Yeah seeing how she's the second kira we shouldn't try to get her mad."

Misa: "….So Light…..you think I'm a twenty dollar whore huh? You jerk!!" bitch slaps Light.

Light: "OW!!"

L: "Ha!!" points to Light," Light just got bitch slapped!! God I wish I got that on video! We'd get a million hits on youtube!!"

Matsuda: "Ooh that outta hurt."

Misa: "We'll be having a little talk when you get home Light." Marches off in a steam.

L and Matusda: "oooooooh."

Light: "Oh shut up! You guys can't even get a girl."

L and Matusda: "…."

L: "Damn you Kira!! Foiled again!"

Matsuda: "Well I would if I actually had time to!!"

Light: "Riiiiight. Nice try Matsuda but just face it. You guys just don't have the looks and the charms." Foxy smile.

L: "He's right, but I still object it is some-what possible for us to get girls."

Matsuda and Light: "He's in denial."

L: "What!? I am so not!!" eats mcdonald fry fiercely.

Light: "Well that's all the time we have for today! Please Join us next time on…..oh my god…..we haven't named our show!!"

L: "Nice goin Light….I thought we had put you in charge of all that."

Matsuda: "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAME FOR THIS!?"

End

……

For now


	2. Chapter 2

Light: "Welcome one and all to our Show…that still does not have a name…."

L: sighs "and who's fault is that exactly?"

Matsuda and L: Looks over to Light.

Light: "…..okay I forgot alright! Being kira and running your own show Is hard!"

L: "Well anyway…here we have guests visit and answer fan mail. Never do we do it at the same time."

Matsuda: "And here is me! The star of our show!" is all spokesmen-like.

Light and L: "….." look at each other

L: "you know you have my permission to kill him right?"

Light: "yep." Takes out death note.

Matsuda: "AAagh!!" hides behind chair.

Light: is struggling to write Matsuda's name.

L: "what are you waiting for!?"

Light: "I….Can't…write his name!" can't put pen down on death note.

L: "Well why not!?"

Light: "I dunno! It's like there's some kind of force preventing me from writing his name!!"

L: "Oh my god!! Now we know why Matsuda, out of all the shit that happened on death note, never died!! And he was the weakest out of all of us!!"

Light: "Oh my death god!! That's just not right!!"

Matsuda: Pops head from behind chair "y-you mean I'm immune to death!?"

L: "it would appear so." Eats shortcake.

Light: "Well….that's just….well…y-you know what….I don't care. I say those you survive are those that are the most screwed."

L: "hell yeah." Raises a fist in the air.  
Matsuda: "Hey!!"

Light: "well lets get to our first fan mail letter of the day." Scrambles through pile, taking out one. "Ah, this ones for you Ryuzaki."

Matsuda: "how come I never get fan mail!!"

L: takes letter, "Thank you Light," clears throat, "Dear L, will you please take off all your clothes and run around on the streets with only a duck floaty screaming I'm A pretty Princess….and my bf triple dog dares you."

Light: "Oooh!! _Triple _dog dare Ryuzaki!"

L: "What the fuck is this!?"

Matsuda: "A dare Ryuzaki….a _triple_ dog dare…which means you _have_ to do it!"

Light: "yeah and uh…if you don't do it Ryuzaki…then you have to eat my sweaty gym socks."

L: "Screw your socks, I'm gonna do the dare."

Light and Matsuda: "OHHOHO!!"

Matsuda: "Oh my god I can't believe it! Ryuzaki is actually going to do it!" ROFL's

L: "Oh shut it Matsuda." Is striping.

Light: blushes.

L: "Wipe that blush off your face fag." Inflates blow up duck, "Alright," looks at the two of them, "I'm off." Runs out of studio and out into the streets.

Light and Matsuda: Laughs like hyena's .

✃20 minutes later✃

Light: "….y'know…..Ryuzaki sure has been gone for quite awhile."

Matsuda: "Yeah…I wonder what he's doing."

L: " I'm back!!" is surrounded by fifty fan girls, lipstick marking all over him. "AND YOU GUYS SAID I COULDN'T GET A GIRL!"

Light: "….."

Matsuda: "….."

Fan girls: "OH MY GOD L WE LOVE YOU!!"

Matsuda: "ALRIGHT RYUZAKI!! WAY TO STICK IT TO LIGHT!! HA!" turns to Light, "HE TOTAL PROVED YOU WRONG!!"

Light: Glares "…." Goes for death note, trying to force down the pen, "damn…..stupid……writers!"

L: "alright ladies! I gotta get back to my show."

Fan girls: "aaaawwwww!"

L: "I know I know but I have to."

Fan girls: "WE LOVE YOU L!!" guards push them all out.

Matsuda: "Ryuzaki! Ryuzaki! Did you get any numbers!?"

L: "yeah, like millions." Throws them all to Matsuda, "go crazy."

Matsuda: Starry-eyed, "SO….MANY…NUMBERS!!"

Light: "oookay…well uh time for our guest of the day. Everybody, give a good round of applause for RYUK!"

Ryuk: floats into the room.

L and Matsuda: "…."

Light: "what?"

L: "There's nothing there…."

Matsuda: "yeah…we don't see anything."

Ryuk: Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk.

Light: "what are you guys talking about? Ryuk's standing right here."

L: "…..i don't see anything."

Matsuda: "well….there has to be something there." Walks over to where Ryuk is.

Ryuk: "_heh heh heh_ are most humans this stupid?"

Matsuda: starts feeling around. Then stops when he feels something odd, "Hey Light….is this thing hold a hot dog?"

Ryuk: "AH! Hey whoa whoa hey!" bolts away, "tell him to watch where he's feeling!!"

Light: "Oh my death god….."

Matsuda: "Felt small."

Ryuk: "HEY!"  
L: "well light we don't see anything."

Light: "well here touch my death note." Hands them both the death note.

L and Matsuda: touches death note, looks up.

Ryuk: "hey hows it goin."

L and Matsuda: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHH!!" runs out in frantic

((it would've been funnier if that actually happened))

Ryuk: "what the hell am I really that ugly?"

Light: sighs, "Well this ends the second episode of…..DAMMIT WE _STILL_ DON'T HAVE A NAME!!"

✃ END ✃

…..

UNTIL NEXT TIME


	3. Chapter 3

Light: "Welcome Death Note fans! To the show that so far is still absolutely completely nameless!!"

L: "phht...jeez it's been a month...possibly more now...Haven't you got the brains- OH! I'm sorry..."

Light: "..." Glare "Well anyway, Here we have Myself, L of course and Matsuda-"

Matsuda: "Hi Everyone!!"

L: Munches on lolly pop.

Light: "...uh...Whom is _still _friggin immuned to my death note..." Tries and writes Matsuda's name but an unspeakable force prevents him, "Dammit!!"

L:"...Well anyway, we all apologize for making you all wait so long for this episode." Gets on the floor and bows in forgiveness,"We got lazy!PLEASE! Restrain your boundless wrath!!"

Matsuda:"YES!" joins L,"PLEASE!"

Light:"..." sighs,"You...BOTH LOOK LIKE IDIOTS! Jeez...anyway, here we Answer all your fan mail and have guest stars! It was pretty neat a few days ago!"

L: sits back down in chair,"Yeah we almost got Cloud to come on here with his huge ass sword!"

Matsuda: Gets back into _his_ chair,"YEAH!...but didn't he say he had to go fight someone and save the world? Some guy named...Sephiroth or Semi-Broth or something?"

Light: "I think his name was Semi-Broth...guy sounds totally badass." rolls eyes.

L: "So instead we have someone else today. The guy's not that bad actually."

Matsuda: "Yeah! He's Pretty famous!! POSSIBLY MORE FAMOUS THAN MISA MISA!"

L: "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING HER THAT!"

Light: "Yeah your making yourself look like a friggin child Matsuda...as always."  
Matsuda: "HEY! I like calling her that! And anyway Light your going out with her so your worse than me!"

L: "..." drops gummi bear, "Oh My God...he IS!!"

Light: "OH MY INSANITY!!"

Matsuda: "WHAT!?" Am I really _that_ pathetic!?"

L and Light: Looks at each other then bursts out laughing.

L: Wipes tears out of eyes, "Matsuda...your so pathetic you make all the badly dubbed anime's seem like masterpieces!"

Light: ROFL's

Matsuda: "You guys are mean!" Slouches down in chair, crossing arms with a pouty face.

Light: "All in good fun Matsuda...all in good fun...Well before we get completely side tracked-"

L: rolls eyes "Too late for that..."

Light: Coughs "ANYWAY! Before we get completely side tracked, lets answer some fan mail!" shuffles through pile and pulls out one,"It's..." squints eyes,"for...MATSUDA!?"  
Matsuda: "YES!! FINALLY!!"

L: "..." shakes head, "I've seen it all."

Matsuda: "Dear Matsuda, It's the...executive producer...could...you be a man...and go get me a cold one..."

L and Light: Bursts out laughing!

Matsuda: "WHAT THE HELL!!...Aw man..." Walks out of the studio in a slump, on his way to the refrigerator.

Light: Looks into Camera "NICE ONE ROB!"

L: Laughs, "And he actaully thought he was going to get Fan mail...priceless."

Light: "Okay now that, that part of our show is finished, lets move on to our Guest! Come on out!"

L: "...You sound like a gameshow host Light."

Lelouch: "Hello everyone." Smiles.

Matsuda: Comes running in "OMFG! Lelouch!!" is all fan boy-ish.

Lelouch: Is shaking Matsuda off his leg "Get this guy off of me!!"

L: "Matsuda! Down boy!!" Throws him a dog treat.

Matsuda: MONCH! (yes...monch)

Light: "Uh...your gonna have to excuse my retarded friends." Sweatdrop.

Lelouch: "It's quite alright, I deal with those guys AAAALL the time."

Light: "Yeah me too...Some people just don't understand us geniuses!!"

Lelouch: "I Know right!?"

L and Matsuda: "HEY!"

Light: "Soo...your Geass, you can control people with it..." gets all mad scientist like,"So...tell us...is it awsome?"

Lelouch: "Oh most definately!"

Matsuda: "OMG..."

L: "What?"

Matsuda: "Two over powering guys put together in the same room equals WORLD DOMINATION!!" Freaks out MAJORLY

L: "...OMG...HE'S RIGHT!" Join's Matsuda with his arm flailing.

Lelouch and Light: o.o

Light: "Well anyway," ninja eyes," so Lelouch...can you give us a demonstration of your awsome power?"

Lelouch: "Sure!" Looks over to L with his Geass.

L: "...What?"

Lelouch: Shoots Geass at L, "Now...go and take your friend and beep him in the beep or I'll shove yourbeep up your beep .

Light: o.o

L: Takes Matsuda into the back room...

Light: "..."

Matsuda: "NO WAIT!!Light!! DO SOMETHING!!"

Light: Nonchalantly bites his finger nails, ignoring Matsuda.

Matsuda: AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa!

Lelouch: "There...that outta get rid of the two of them for awhile." Looks down at watch, "OH! I have to go! I got a nation to take over! See ya!"

Light: "See ya!! Call me! We can talk about world domination!!

Lelouch: "Fer sure!"

Light: "Well I hope you enjoyed this episode of List Name Here And please...always be nice to evil geniuses and make sure to get your pets spade and nudered." smiles pleasantly.

End

...

Possibly?


	4. Chapter 4

Light: "Hello to all of you! Welcome to our show! The...um...uh...Dear Death God this thing is STILL not named!! C'mon Ryuzaki! You guys gotta at least give me some ideas!"

L: Licks lollipop, "Well both me and Matsuda thought that you, Light, would easily be able to come up with SOMETHING seeing how you APPEAR to be quite the genius. Apparently we thought wrong." Has a blank face.

Matsuda: "Hmmm...HOW ABOUT THE SAKURA SHOW!!"

Light and L: "NO!"

Matsuda: Shrugs, "Well why not?"

Light: "Because the WORD Sakura reminds me of that stupid news show!"

L: "Yeah...they might've been helpful but they sure were a pain in the-"

Light: "WELL ANYWAY-"

L: Sighs, "Must you ALWAYS interrupt m-"

Light: "Here is where we answer Fan mail, Have Guest stars AND NOW we may even prank call unexpecting victims!"

Matsuda: "I thought we agreed not to do that Light?"

L: "Yeah...on account that the producer thought it was stupid...hey Light-kun...weren't YOU the one that came up with that??" Puts thumb up to lip.

Light: "Would you guys just lay off a bit! Jeez...it's not my fault that Rob has suddenly decided to hate me..."

L: "Awww...does Light-kun need his blanky and his bottle?"

Matsuda and L: Burst out laughing!!

Light: "Yeees!" sad face.

Matsuda: ...

L: ...

Light: "Yeah...um...well uh...lets just open our first fan letter for today." Ninja shifty eyes. Goes through a mountain of letters and pulls one out, "Ah! This one's for me!" Clears Throat, "Dear Light, Now that we all know that you have the hots for L..."

L: Is still disturbed e.o

Light: "Will you do some...fan...service!?"...Blushes

Matsuda: "NO LIGHT! YOU MUSTN'T!!"

L: Falls off the couch, "Am I really suppose to do this!? Do they really expect me to actually allow him to kiss me!!" Has 'OMG Shinigami' Look on his face.

Light: "Well..." gets evil intimidating look on his face, "We can't upset our viewers now can we?"

Matsuda: "We'll disturb them if we do!!"

Light: "No Matsuda...YOUR thet only one who's gonna get disturbed here."

L: Is still on ground, "What about me!?"

Light: Looks to L "Oh just sit there and be quiet!" Lunges for L.

Rob: "NO Mr. YAGAMI WE HAVE CHILD VIEWERS! TED GRAB LIGHT'S LEGS! JOLE! YOU TRY AND PRY RYUZAKI AWAY FROM HIM!!"

Light: "NO! NO! NO! GIVE ME MY RYUZAKI!!" his clawing away at L's shirt

Matusda: Grabs Light " DEAR GOD LIGHT!! STOP TRYING TO RIP OFF RYUZAKI'S SHIRT!"

L: "AAAaaaAAA-"

**BEEEEEEEP**

...

**WE'RE SORRY THE, PUT NAME HERE, SHOW IS HAVING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES! D**

((do do do, elevator music, elevator music))

...

**AND NOW WE'RE BACK!**

Light: Is chained to the chair

L: Is scared as hell

Matsuda: "Well um...with that little incident set aside, Let's make our first prank call!! Our victim shall be Itachi Uchiha from the Uchiha Clan!!"

L: "Oh god..." eats hershey's

Matsuda: Grabs the random phone and dials up a number. Riiiing...Riiiiing...Riiiing

Itachi: Picks up, "Hello?"

Matsuda: "Hey Itachi...this is your father speaking!"

Itachi: "My...father?" Is suspicious.

Matsuda: Uses a cheap low toned voice "Uh yes!...I hear you were out partying last night with your fish friend, Kisuke! You guys didn't smoke anything or...y'know...get drunk or somethin did ya?"

Itachi: "...My father's dead..."

Matsuda: "Oh...u-uh-"

Itachi: "Sasuke is this you?" is pissed.

Matsuda: "Un no no...this is your father! I uh...rose back...from the...dead." Shifty eyes.

L: "Oh my god Matsuda... your pathetic." Shakes head.

Itachi: "Well if this is...I just want you to know that the next time you call me on my cell and waste MY minutes prank calling me then be prepared to have your eyes plucked out from that empty skull of yours and shoved down your throat and as you choke I will rip out your innards and wrap them around your legs and cut off your arms and feet, stuffing them inside the hole I will make in your stomach then once your dead, I'll tear off your head and put it in my trophy room...I'm warning you little brother...because the next time...I won't be mister nice guy..." Hangs up.

Matsuda and L: o.o

Light: "Wow...sounds like my kind of guy!!"

L: "Can it crazy." Stuffs sock in Light's mouth.

Matsuda: "THAT WAS BEING MISTER NICE GUY!? OH MY GOD!! POOR SASUKE!! HAVING TO DEAL WITH SUCH A DISTURBING GUY!!"

L: "yeah...Well seeing how that was an epic fail, Let's just bring out our celebrity guest!"

Matsuda: "Alright!! Introducing! Edward Elric and his brother Al!! Wooo!!" starts clapping

L: Just sits there with a plate of cookies.

Ed: "Hey guys!" Comes running in.

Al: Walks in "Hello everyone!"

Matsuda: "You guys are totally awsome! Being alchemists and all!"

L: "Yes...being able to defy physics and all..."

Ed: "Aw, It's nothin really! Just your simply equations and ingrediants thats all!"

Al: "You make it sound so easy brother, y'know we're still looking for the Philosopher's Stone."

Ed: "Eh heh," scratches head, "Not now Al we're on a TV show!"

L: "So Ed...your brother here, the Full Metal Alchemist, How exactly can he stay alive in just a plain suit of armour?"

Ed: "Wh-what? But I-I'm the Full Metal Alchemist..." is a bit confused.

L: Blinks "Really?...Hmmm...I thought you weren't seeing how your not in full metal...and your kind of short."

Al: "Uh oh..."

Ed: "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT, JERK!? I'M NOT SHORT!! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!? YOU WANNA KNOW HOW TOUGH SHORT IS!!" Is about to go after L.

Al: Stops Ed, "Brother don't! He didn't mean it, he didn't know!"

Matsuda: "Wait...so Al isn't the Full Metal Alchemist?"

L, Ed and Al: Falls over.

Ed: "YEAH! I'm the Full Metal Alchemist! You gotta problem with that?"

Matsuda: Puts hands up, "N-No no, it's just that...oh nevermind."

Light: Spits out sock, "Oh my death god!! That was disgusting!! You guys I wanna say something to them!!"

L: Sighs, "Fine...make it quick."

Light: "...Damn I forgot..."

Matsuda: "And you were kira?? Wow...I'm really beginning to think that is too hard to believe..."

L: "Jeez Matsuda your beginning to sound like me...well anyway, It was nice meeting you Ed and Al, The Metal Alchemists."

Ed: "Yeah it was cool! Maybe we should hang out some time! Maybe after we find the Philosophers Stone!!"

L: "Sounds like a plan!"

Ed and Al: "See ya!" Runs off.

Matsuda: "Well...that concludes yet another...looong...episode of...um...well..."

L: "The Show that Has No name!" Twilight music.

Light: Spits out sock, "Is that what we're calling it!?"

L: "Yeah...seeing how you NEVER CAME UP WITH A NAME!!"

Light: "Listen here Freak boy I-"

Matsuda: "OH LET'S JUST END THIS ALREADY!!"

Fin

...

Maybe?


	5. Chapter 5

{Author's note: Sorry to all of the fans that I had made back in 08 who I hope I didn't disappoint too much over my absence. Through the last 2 years and four months I hadn't been on FF because I have been trying to work harder on my other skills like drawing and computer graphics. Plus I've tried working hard in high school and lost touch with the FF website. Frankly I decided to consider Chat Show to be completed because I felt like doing a tad more serious work. Though I have read through it all again and had forgotten how much fun it was for me to write it. So I hope you can understand and forgive me of my absence. OKAY enough with the formal crap, let's get this show on the road!}

Light: "Hello everyone to the show that TO THIS DAY, after two years, still has no name!"

L: "You must excuse our absence and Light's retardation with title names!" Noms cheesecake.

Matsuda: "We got sued!"

Light: "Matsuda I THOUGHT we weren't going to speak of that!"

L: "Actually Light there was a very specific reason why our show was canceled that I think our fans should know about..." Munches a cherry.

Light: Says behind teeth, "I DON'T think our AUDIENCE needs to know THA-"

L: "Light made a big no no peoples." Bites down on the cheesecake crust {now I want cheesecake}

Matsuda: "YEAH HE-!"

Light: Big fake smile "Didn't do a damn thing wrong! Can we plea-"

L: "He raped Rob… the executive producer…."

Light: "…"

Matsuda: "With a MOTHERF***ING LIGHT POLE….ironically enough."

L: Looks at light "…..I'm amazed it wasn't me." Likes lollipop

Light: "THAT ***HOLE SAW IT F***ING COMING TO HIM! Trying to F***ing get L to sign a restraining order on me!" Face turns red like a tomato

Matsuda: Sweatdrop "So that was what that was all about? Not over him ruining your chip orgasm?"

L: Bursts out laughing "HA! HA HA! OH GOD! HIS RETARDED CHIP ORGASM! I REMEMBER THAT!"

Light: Blushes

L: "You went so epic with a chip that you accidentally c-"

Matsuda: "WELL, I think it's about time to answer some fan mail!"

L: Calms down from giggle high and clears throat, "Okay okay, I got this," digs way through two years of piled fan mail, "AH! Here's one and it's for me."

Matsuda: "Aw man! WHY! WHY! How come I never get an-"

L: "Dear L, How the hell did you learn to kick so friggin good? There's this guy at school who keeps bugging me and I just feel like giving him a what for."

Matsuda: "Whoa….that's kind of scary….I mean are we allowed to do that?"

Light: "Yeah I don't want us to get sued for causing a child's death. I may kill criminals and people who get in my way of killing said criminals but I don't kill children."

Matsuda: "Light…..Near's a kid….."

Light: "Near's a kid?"

Matsuda: "YEAH HE'S LIKE FRIGGIN TWELVE…er….something.."

Light: "HE'S A GUY!"

L: "Well," squints eyes to see sender's name, "IMMA_GONNA_PWN_UR_ASS1430-"

Light: "What the fuck kind of name is that…?"

L: "Watari was able to take care of me and knows how to use a sniper….I learned how to kick ass from him…"

Light : "Oh yeah I forgot about good ole' Watery."

L: "Light…..his name is WA TA RI. Not Watery."

Matsuda: "I swear! How were YOU Kira!"

Light: Takes out pen "Y'know….screw the Death Note. I HAVE A PEN!" Goes to lunge at Matsuda.

L: Kicks Light down, "I DON'T WANT BLOOD ON THE FLOOR!"

Matsuda: Is still sort of freaking out, "W-well let's move on to our guest….Please welcome VINCENT VALENTINE!"

Light: "What! You signed him up! The guy that's obsessive over the most APOLOGETIC CREATURE on the face of the earth! The guy who, by the way, is practically MUTE? You signed him up for A CHAT SHOW?"

L: "And could also kick so many asses that he could put our whole entire show to shame?"  
Matsuda: Vincent walks in "WELCOME MR. VALENTINE! IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET SUCH AN IMPORTANT MAN SUCH AS YOURSELF!"

Light: "WTF up with the big entran-"

L: "VIIINNNCCEEENNNNTTT 8D!" Hugs Vincent's legs.

Vincent: "…"

Light and Matsuda: o_o

Matsuda: "L GET OFF OF HIM!"

L: Get's pried off of Vincent's legs by Matsuda "NUUUUUU! D8!"

Vincent: Sits down and tries to get comfortable despite the fact he just practically got glomped.

Light: "So Vincent.."

L: "VIIINNNCCEEEENNTTT Dx!" Tries to get out of Matsuda's grasp.

Light: "How come you became a body guard to such an unstable girl?"

Vincent: "….what?"

Light: Raises eyebrow, "Why…you….guard…CRAZY lady?"

Vincent: Stands up and takes out gun, "What did you say?"

Matsuda and L: Screams like little kids.

Matsuda: "OMG HE HAS A F***ING GUN!"

Light: "WHOA WHOA WHOA! IT WAS JUST A SIMPLE-"

Vincent: Starts shooting…

L: "OMFG!"

The audience freaks out and everything turns in to chaos (ironically)

Matsuda: Picks up knocked over camera "UM…Technical difficulties!"

Light & L: Keep trying to dodge bullets.

Light: "AAAAGGGH! I JUST WANNA KNOW WHY YOU'RE SO F***ED UP!"

L: "THIS IS F***ING INTERVENTION, LIGHT! NEVER PISS OFF A GUY WITH A TROUBLED PAST AND A MOTHERF***ING THREE BARRELED HAND SHOTGUN ON HIS BELT! YOU MOTHERF***ING IDIOT!" keeps dodging bullets.

Matsuda: "Well! That's our show! We'll get to calling it something sooner or later! Maybe never!" dodges bullet.

Till next time

…..

Surely


End file.
